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Trembling, rapid heart beating, weak legs, red cheeks and faintness are the symptoms of shyness known by anyone. All people more or less feel shy in their life, but some survive its occasional bouts, the other succeed in hiding it when more than a half feels themselves deeply and obsessively shy. Extreme shyness as a rule is caused by genetics, culture, family background, low self-esteem and traumatic experiences. The lack of practice in social situations, introversion, isolation at home, and community alienation contribute to this psychological issue. Involving a complex of learned reflexes, shyness assists drawing back from contact with other people by entailing the uncomfortable feelings and fear of excessive attention, unpredictable situations and new acquaintances.
Get rid of shyness if it spoils your life, change the way you think and your life philosophy. The first thing you should do is to complete analysis of yourself and your shyness. Realize physical and inner yourself image. To do this, stay in front of the mirror and look at yourself as at a strange person. Make a list of your likings and disapproval. Our outlook is the easiest thing we can change to feel more confident. Do you need a new haircut or glasses? Are your clothes too old? Is your body too thin or plump? Try to improve all your dislikes as soon as you can. Change haircut, ask your stylish friend to choose new clothes for you, start doing physical exercises. Do not forget to force yourself to walk straight and speak clearly too. It will take practice, but your will cope.
After your outlook, walking and speaking manner have improved, make another list, which will include advantages of you as a person. Are you a devoted friend and a lovely child? Are you smart and talented? What are you brilliant at? Remember this list, thus you will use it frequently in the practical overcoming of shyness.
By being conscious of your physical attractiveness and important human traits, you may analyze your shyness. What situations confuse you most? Are you afraid of audience and stage, noisy companies, opposite gender talk, job interviewers or strict teacher’s remarks? Write a list of problematic situations for you and level them from the most difficult to achieve to the easier ones. You will overcome these shyness issues day by day starting from the less challenging.
Having made all necessary lists, you may start the practice of the social skills. The first thing you should remember is the importance of the eye contact. Do not look at the window when you are speaking to someone, especially when someone is speaking to you. If it is getting to be hard, look above the eyes but do not look aside. Another secret of good talk and relations is the smile. It will cost you nothing but will assure success.
When you get used to smile and look into the people’s eyes, you may try to overcome your shyness by making comments and small talks to strangers. Firstly, it will be a little bit challenging, but remind your advantages list, plan beforehand what you will say and be ready that people’s reaction may be different, and it depends only on their features, not yours. To start with, you may ask a shop assistant about a new product, entertain a baby or make comments about the weather to a person sitting next to you in the public transport. Coping with these makes your tasks harder: asking to buy something out of the queue, turn or borrow few dollars from the stranger when you really do not need them.
Going on well with strangers will improve your skills at work. Each week, it would be advisable to communicate with a new person, pay compliments and ask questions about life and family. Do not be laconic saying just ‘hello’ next day. Give some funny or inspiring comments for example, “Hi. How did you get to the job in such weather?” Do not omit further communication.
It is high time to practice company communication after regulations of tête-à-tête talks. Do not refuse friends proposals of joining them. You will feel more comfortable with them over the time. The most important rules you should remember are to force yourself speak more, not answer shortly and ask questions which require full answer, not forget to tell something about yourself, not go to safe lonely corners and not look for a person to stick with.
Nobody is perfect, that is why there are no reasons to be shy. Better work opportunities, fulfilling relationships and wonderful, interactive world are lost in the irrational fear of speaking up and being ignored. Step by step you will overcome shyness and open self-confidence and ease of expression, which are the main qualities of a magnetic personality.
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