Changing the Rules without Harm

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The equality is the main factor of the achieving world balance, balance of peaceful and harmony life of everyone without exception. It is the global aim of the 21st century which demands total assimilation to the new life principles and positions. The world, where only men decided important questions, run businesses and ruled countries, had past. The women, who usually depended on their husbands and did nothing but housework and family care, aim to anticipate and make their own choices. The conservative family traditions had changed totally. It is not a surprise nowadays to observe a father cooking and baby caring. Moreover, homosexual families are common and acceptable. They are neither ashamed any more, nor hidden. Everyone is free to work, earn money, and speak openly about their sexual orientation.  To avoid social pressure and keep everyone’s rights, the ordinal life flow should be changed. It should be done carefully for not doing harm, but improve everybody’s life and emotional conveniences.            

The problem of the gender influence on one’s opportunities has been broadly discussing within last two centuries. The first what comes on one’s mind is the women versus the men career and rights equality. This summer, the magazine Atlantic published the Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article Why Women Still cannot Have It All, which introduces some social changes of issue solution. Anne Slaughter is a professor of politics and international affairs at PrincetonUniversity; from 2009 to 2011, she was a director of policy planning at the State Department, and at the same time, she coped to be the mother of two children and the loving wife.

The superwoman, who constantly spoke to the new ladies’ generations, “you can have it all and do it all, regardless of what field you are” (Slaughter) was at the crossroads. She said that it was really difficult and supernaturally for a woman to have a happy family life and brilliant career at once in the contemporary American society.

There is just 13% of women in the world parliaments. From time immemorial, a woman was treated more as caregiver than breadwinner. Each woman has to accommodate her pregnancy time and children’s school schedule to the job. The luckiest are those, who had married a right man, who has agreed to share parenting load equally and respects the wife’s ambitions. But most females choose another and simpler road: family at the cost of the job or job at the cost of the family. As the result, the housewives play with their children and swallow their career dreams. However, the business ladies come back to the cold and empty homes after the exhausting working day.

The women’s opportunities are limited by their natural ability of the motherhood, what sounds as nonsense. Anne-Marie Slaughter felt the bitter tincture of the contemporary woman’s life on herself and wrote problem solving propositions, which are contingent on both genders. The writer proposes to let people reconsider their working time, such as long work hours in the office do not insure better job; the workers should be allowed to regulate their schedule for the best productivity. Some letters may be sent at home, questions discussed online, all week tasks done in four working days instead of five etc. The school schedules are out-of-date and must be accommodated to modern, business mothers. The writer does not cultivate the parenthood privileges at work, but appeal to let the jobs work for families and save the valuable, extra time for each worker.

According to Slaughter, the situation would be different if more women took the leading positions, because nowadays business structure is assimilated to the men’s lifestyle. It turns the woman life in the restless marathon accusing the ambition gap and forgetting about the motherly instinct. “They [women] are to blame if they cannot manage to rise up the ladder as fast as men and also have a family and an active home life (and be thin and beautiful to boot)” (Slaughter).

In the article, author concentrates both male and female attention on the process of improving the situation and the stereotypes like a man is the breadwinner and a woman is just a caregiver elimination. Anne-Marie Slaughter is not the only defender of the women’s rights. Many other supporting sources confirm her rightness and persuade the reader do not stay indifferent.

The reasons of the men’s leadership and women-men inequality also analyzed Linda Carli in the article Gender and Social Influence. The stereotypes, as basic material of her work, state that men assumed as more competent and knowledgeable and have more rights to authority, when women are considered being warmer and much more communal but less influential. Considering the women’s warmness and communication skills, the society trusted women to get professions of teachers, nannies, shop-assistants, and servants. The leader’s position demands seriousness and high competence level, which is still believed to be uncommon for the pretty part of the world.

Various psychological researches proved that men are more influential than women. But besides the influence, women temper their competence with displays of communality and warmth, what leads to the deep interaction, and are not typical for the men. That is why female majority can undercut male advantages.

Linda Carli wrote her work in 2001 to show the gender characteristics differences and explain readers the reasons of the women inequality. Realizing all pros and cons the one may choose another way of behavior and career doing, such as every year more and more women aim at equality and independence trying to possess the leader positions, but still remain the minority, constantly developing but minority.

Female minority is not the one in the defending of their rights. Sexual minorities do everything possible to change people acceptance and feel comfortable in the new millennium. The lifestyle has changed. There are more children born out of wedlock, more sexually active teens a lot of which do not use protection and experience bisexuality. Society concerns about ways out to make the situation less critical.

Frank O’Hara is a poet and literal critic, who lived at the beginning of the 20th century. He is famous for his autobiographical poetry. The poet describes his point of view on the problem of the sexuality influence on one’s life experience in his poem Ave Maria. Most of his life, the writer lived in New York; he was a homosexual and perfectly knew the sexuality influence on one’s life. 

The author relies on a mother’s role of the children’s excessive protection. They are afraid for their flesh and blood’s that prefer rather to isolate them then let living in the new, dissolute world. The author asks all mothers “what about the soul that grows in darkness, embossed by silvery images” (O’Hara). The souls are blocked and continue their living under the parental pressure and life principles, without rights for the own choices and mistakes. Maybe such breeding of the descendants will cause fewer problems, but they will not live, they will exist like turned into zombies’ samples of their parents’ dreams. Every personality has the right for own faults, choices, and experience. Parents should not isolate their children. They should explain, inspire, and support their sons and daughters, “because if nobody does pick them up in the movies they won’t know the difference” (O’Hara), which is the experience building up itself. To avoid children’s hate, the adults should accept their choices and feelings. They should protect their children emotionally by means of speaking and philosophizing but not physically by locked doors.

In his poem, Frank O’Hara explains the adult’s negativism of the teenagers’ lifestyle, but the forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. Parents exacerbate their kids’ attention on the issues by the excessive protection. The result of such upbringing is family hate and lost personality, what O’Hara experienced on himself.

The time when the writer lived was malicious to early sexual experiences and non-traditional sexual orientation. Nowadays society is more used to teenage pregnancy, early sexual experiences, and gay parades. It does not mean that it should be propagated but tolerated. The problems should not be wrapped up but prevented. No one can be ignored or uninformed, but should be understood and trusted. 

Joseph Gudel investigated the issue of homosexuality in his article Homosexuality: Fact and Fiction. The author describes the biological and psychological factors of homosexuality. He contemplates whether it is a normal phenomenon or illness and compares the heterosexuals and homosexuals lifestyles. It is researched nowadays that there are born homosexuals, who can not change their sexuality and psychological homosexuals. Their orientation is caused by emotional traumas and can be treated, allowing patients to become married having many children heterosexuals. The other side of the coin is the fact of heterosexual’s transformation into homosexuals, which is often caused by the curiosity and variety of desires.  It is the reason why the issue should be discussed. Persuading information to respect others but go once own road must be heard by everyone. Grudel mentions “competent psychiatrists and psychologists believe homosexuality is a healthy lifestyle (the majority does not). Dr. Stanton L. Jones, professor of psychology at WheatonCollege, writes, "I would not regard homosexuality to be a psychopathology in the same sense as schizophrenia or phobic disorders. But neither can it be viewed as a normal 'lifestyle variation' on a par with being introverted versus extroverted."

 Statistics researches indicate that heterosexuals have five-nine sexual partners within their life, when heterosexual male average can be above 250 partners. That fact influences a lot on the problem of Aid’s extension.

Social norms today allow organizing gay and lesbian parades. Homosexuals should not feel as eliminated, as a century ago. There is no strong society’s pressure in the equal rights country. Nevertheless, every one since the childhood should be as educated and protected in this issue as possible. The propaganda of a healthy lifestyle, safe sex, and one sexual partner must be spread not only on heterosexuals but also homosexuals.

The world is changeable. Within years, new inventions, interests, opportunities, and outlooks have appeared. The main task of the modern society is not to lose one’s identity and go towards development but not degradation. The wise promotion of the rights’ changes will provide full women realization without families’ sacrifices, homosexuals’ tolerance, and equal acceptance without propagandas and agitation among young and matured heterosexuals. 

How to do these rightly? A lot of politics, journalists and writers are concerned in these issues.  Anne-Marie Slaughter proposes providing more flexible work schedules for women and other workers if it is possible, school schedules adaptation to the contemporary working parents and equal woman-man children caring to unsure women’s careers promotion in the men ruled world. Linda Carli analyzed social abilities and psychological skills to explain the inequality gender situation and found out the ancient stereotypes influence and better women communicational skills, which make great usage for the leading appointments, but hinder at the beginning of the career, because are often regarded as light mindedness.

Sexuality experience issues are considered by the poet Frank O’Hara, who requests parents do not forbid and protect their children from the reality, but let them make their own choices to achieve the life experience. The teenagers’ world differs from their parents’, but the best what should be done is to discuss, inform, explain and what is the most important - respect. Joseph Gudel also supports the idea of the total respect and explains unchangeable biological and influential sociable reasons of the homosexuality and accents that  information providing is the key of the problem solution and it correlates not only this issue, in the both cases, gender and sexuality, informativeness, understanding, supporting and respecting are the decisive points.   

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